when they are considering what to do about their dad and me and the nursing home. What has me genuinely worried about the twilight of my life? Four words: Really. Scary. Roller coaster.
This weekend we took a mini vacay to a tourist town only two hours from our house. Said town has a theme park, so we decided to go. It would be fun. We got up early, got stuck in traffic on the way (seriously, the Garmin said it would take 4 minutes, but it took 34 instead), then started our day of fun. First we went on the log ride (trying to ease the monkeys into the "hey you two are big kids/tall enough now" rides). Then, we made our way to a ride called Powder Keg. I knew it was a roller coaster. But, the sign said the kindergartner was tall enough, so how bad could it be? I did not, however, consider that the whole wait in line area was about explosives and that may have something to do with the ride. While you are waiting, you can't see the coaster nor can you hear any screaming (so again, it must not be scary).
We made it to the front of the line and boarded. There is no shoulder harness only a thing that comes across your lap while the seat comes up between your legs. No big deal. After the rudimentary check of seat belts, our train made its way out of the station...really slowly. I got a little nervous when I looked over and saw a zigzag of tracks, but then I didn't see a giant hill to climb to gain speed and put the jitters out of my mind. The Cubscout was next to me, and he didn't look nervous at all. In an effort not to alarm him, I remained calm. Then our train was lifted up on some sort of elevator to the tracks. I thought...ok? Then there was a series of three beeps. Apparently, this is some sort of launch sequence because on the third beep, our train shot out of the start (this is where I started screaming). There was no easing in by climbing a hill (while you marveled at how high you were/tried to find where you parked). When the ride started, it started. I was terrified and concerned for both monkeys. I was so scared, how must they feel? The ride finally slowed down from Mach 3 (we were headed up a traditional roller coaster climb) long enough for me to look over and ask the Cubscout if he was doing ok. He looked at me with a shocked expression and before he could answer the car was up at the top of the hill ready to plummet down another bazillion stories at a 90 degree angle. As we came around the corner, I yelled, "Just hang on!"
After what felt like an eternity of loops, drops, curves and general speed the ride came to a stop. I was so scared during the ride, I got the giggles after. I looked at the Cubscout and he still had the same expression on his face as at the top of the hill. When we got back into the station and off the ride the Cubscout said, "Not cool, Mom." and the kindergartner said, "My lips hurt from going like this." as she made a silent scream face. So, pretty much they were traumatized. I only hope the saying, "In 20 years no one will remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel." does not hold true for this experience. Somehow I think they will both tell the story of how their mom and dad scared them to pieces by making them ride that one roller coaster as they sign the papers turning us over to the "retirement center."