Dear stylist,

Here's a tip, and it's worth a lot more than 20% of the total. Actually, there are a few so you better take notes (I know how you 12 year olds only half-listen).

1. Please don't tell me that I went to high school with YOUR MOM (because even though she graduated 3 years before me, it still makes me feel old especially when you complain about how she's out of touch with the times).
2. Don't "really recommend" some color so "no one will even be able to tell you have a few gray hairs, and they will guess you to be much, much younger than you actually are." (side note I am only 34 so if I look "much, much younger" I will look too young to be a teacher, and my DH will be mistaken for a pervert)
3. Please don't feel you have to talk about books that were made into movies (I watch TMZ almost every night, so I am familiar with what the kids are up to these days, although I do appreciate the effort to bridge the generational gap).

I might sound a little like your mom, but we are about the same age (as you so kindly pointed out). The cut did turn out nicely, and I thank you for that.

Sincerely,
Frau M.