I am writing this letter for the good of the children (mainly my Cubscout because the kindergartner is a girl so it doesn't matter quite as much) and my retinas (which may be permanently scarred). It came to my attention today as I was soaking up the rays just down from you (I was the source of the blinding glare of pale...sorry) that we have an issue that needs to be addressed. I'm going to cut right to the chase. Please put on more of a swimsuit (consisting of more that 1/16 of a yard of fabric). Please. Only your doctor and/or significant other needs to know for a fact that you had a C-section at some point in your life. I do not. Nor do the kids (including, but not limited, to my own). I get that you don't want tan lines, I do. I also know that you don't want to wear a "momsuit" like the rest of us. But, surely we can come to some sort of compromise like you could maybe make your bottoms come up to only 2 inches below your belly button. You will no longer jeopardize the safety of the pool by distracting the lifeguard. Give it some thought. Thank you for your time and kind consideration.
Sincerely,
Frau M.
Text me before you go to the pool, and I'll cover it up next time. Sorry if my sexiness was a safety hazard. (I'm laughing as I type this by the way, but I just couldn't hold myself back.)
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