Thursday, August 12, 2010

KWL: State Fair Edition

K (For all you non-teachers out there...this is where you write what you know already)
  • It will be hot as blazes on opening day (my truck said 105 when we got back in).
  • There will be many, many things you can't unsee (I'm looking at you braless tubetop wearers).
  • Drinks will consume the majority of the Fair Day budget (really $5 for lemonade, really?).
  • There are tons of things that it seems as though you might not be able to live without, but because you are spending all your money on drinks, you have to go on without a shiny new salsa maker/Shamwow/tomato keeper/Pillow Pet/etc. (you almost had me, mop guy).
  • Carnival games are unwinnable (I know this, so please don't make me feel like a bad mom for not allowing my monkeys to experience the failure that is the bottle ring toss).

W (What you would like to know)

  • Why do I have to sign up for a condo tour/siding presentation/water analysis just for a free pen? (I didn't btw because we are on the "No-Call" list for a reason)
  • How do I get my pig into the pig races? (we actually have no swine, but if we did...)
  • Who told the Miss State Fair candidates that "talent" meant any old thing you could throw together (shooting rubber bands up your nose, screechy violin playing, speeches that didn't make a lot of sense)? Don't they watch Little Miss Perfect to know that you have to pull out ALL the stops to win?
  • Where, oh where are the non-skanky restrooms?
  • What happens when the roller coaster breaks down with your child on it?

L (What I learned)

  • Three large Carnies will come out of nowhere (seriously the ride operator didn't use a walkie-talkie or anything. He just put his hand up in the air) and push the roller coaster until it goes.
  • People are cranky when it gets hot (I predict the Highway Patrol will be busy tonight because beer + heat + couples = domestic situation).
  • You know it's hot when the animals in the petting zoo can't be bothered to come and eat the feed you offer them.
  • Ronald McDonald puts on a good show (the monkeys laughed so hard they got the hiccups).
  • There will always be "one more thing" to see or some point Mom has to call it a day (usually when the money's gone).

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